15 to 1 Ratio

So….. I have been working for a client down in Riverside County and we have monthly progress meetings in Lake Elsinore.

Take 4 flights:

Get up at 3:45 am jump in the shower and rush out the door at 4:20. Get to the airport at 4: 35 and grab my ticket for the 5:15 flight to San Francisco. Come around the corner and see a huge line for security. That’s ok….still got some time.

Hump……Waiting…..Dam this line is moving slow. There is a couple in front of me, looks like they are going on some trip to the City. Quarter to five, pitch black outside and she has got her visor on to shield her eyes from the glare. Tight grey turtleneck and black stretch pants.

I really shouldn’t talk. I lost my glasses two weeks ago and have resorted to wearing my prescription sunglasses in the office, at night, watching TV, in meetings. What a dork. Anyway,….This lady in front of me is obviously ticked that the line is taking so long…….grumble, grumble, grumble.

Wife: “This is awful”

Husband: shrug look over, “huh”

Wife: “Oh guy…..this is awful”

Husband: shrug look over, “huh”

Wife: “You know what this is like”

Husband: Shrug, “huh”

Wife: “This is like a colonoscopy first thing in the morning”

Nice. Instantly I have an all too vivid picture in my head of something I don’t want to be thinking about.

Wife: “What is taking so long, Is this lotion more than 3 ounces, what a pain”

Husband: Shrug and look away as if he has heard this griping for 30 years. In one ear and out the other.

We get up to the security boarding pass ticket checker person and she asks the couple for their tickets and ID’s.

Wife: This is awful…..we have been flying for years.

The ticket checker looks and gives her a smile like, “Shut up, I could care less, just move along and get going. It is people like you that make this whole process slower than it needs to be.”

Ticket Checker: Bye, Bye……Like that SNL skit with the flight attendants

Bye, Bye……Now get out.
So we keep moving along snaking through the line, you know the type. Up and down like at Disneyland. We get to the conveyor belts for the x-ray machine and I am faced with a decision. Right lane or left? Right looks good, but there are a couple of ladies struggling to take off their shoes. Left is the couple. The woman is still shaking her head.

I chose left, at least I will have some entertainment. Take off my shoes, get out the computer, take off the belt, remove any change. The couple in front is a zoo. She sends her carry on through but forgets her boarding pass.

Boarding pass…….

Wife: Oh…It is in my bag, this is awful.

She finally gets it and moves on through. By now the other line is moving like melted butter, but still I wait. Now it is the husband’s turn.

Boarding pass…….shuffle, shuffle. He digs it out of his pocket.

Please remove your jacket. Grumble, grumble, shuffle, shuffle

By now my flight is boarding. Finally, get through and run down the terminal. Reach the gate.

Passengers flight 6407 to San Francisco is delayed. Great.

It was only delayed for 10 minutes so I get to SF and make my connector to Ontario, get a ride down to Lake Elsinore and sit through a 1 hour meeting.

Time: 12:15. My flight leaves at 3:45 back to SF. Shuffle, shuffle, grumble, grumble. Go to lunch with the project manager from our Pasadena office. Lets just say there is not much to eat in Lake Elsinore.

Drive back to the airport and wait for an hour to catch the flight back to SF and then home. This guy comes up and stands against this wall where I am sitting and puts on his Bluetooth and starts talking to a buddy. There are tons of people around and he starts talking in this incredibly loud voice about everything he has been doing for the last couple of days. I don’t have a problem with someone having a discreet conversation in the background, but this guy was going into details that people really don’t need to hear about, complete with full on hand gestures and body movements to boot.

What was that phrase.......Too Much Information

Please, who really needs to here about your 30 minute facial and your 90 minute massage at the spa. I really don’t want to here about Jacky and how strong her hands are and how she really worked you. Please brother save it. I swear I was going to barf right on the spot.

Rolled into SF, grabbed a bento box and Sapporo and headed to my gate, jumped on the 6:00 CMB 120 and turbo propped back to the Berg.

Started my day at 3:45, I was in the car and heading home by 7:15.

15 hour day for a one hour meeting. Humm….something wrong with that picture. It still amazes me that we don't just teleconference. Face to face is how we need to do it. The old fashioned way. That way the client can see the consultant sweat. We live in a global economy and I am supposed to work efficiently with all this technology, but it still takes me 15 hours to complete a one-hour meeting.

Amazing.