Home.....Now What?

Tracy spent most of Tuesday sleeping. Morphine does not really sit well on her stomach and every time she would wake up and try to talk or sit up she would get really pale and sometimes a little hint of green would come through. Small beads of sweat forming on her forehead. We got her off the morphine and onto the Vicodin, but even with the Reglan for the nausea she would still have to fight back the waves. Nausea can be so uncomfortable. That hot sweaty feeling, churning stomach, bile coming up and filling the back of the throat. Loads of fun to be had.

Wednesday Tracy woke up feeling better, but still fighting the Nausea. The other issue she had been dealing with was the dizziness. She had a CTscan at Saint Agnes to look for any subdural hematomas in the brain, but that came back negative. Turns out dizziness is normal for people who spend extended periods of time on bed rest. The blood pools in the lower extremities and when you sit up or change positions rapidly the heart can't get blood to the brain fast enough and you feel like you had one too many tequila shots. Spinning, swooping, oh the joy of it all.

The physical therapist came in around 9:30 and started working to get her up and walking. It was so good to see her sitting up in bed. For the last ten days she could not move her right leg without feeling intense pain, shooting pain from the muscles pulling on the fractures. Now the pain was different. Soft tissues needed to be manipulated and pushed aside to allow instruments and fingers to get in and tinker with the broken skeleton. Dr. Lindval made two incisions to gain access. He used the existing scar site from Finn's C-section and created a new 5-inch long incision along the top of her hip. Her muscles and soft tissues are very sore and she moves very gingerly to limit the pain that pushes through the pain meds.

By Wednesday afternoon she was sitting up and making her way to the bathroom, very slowly. She tires very quickly as her blood volume is very low from the surgery. Hemoglobin is measured and expressed in terms of grams per deciliter (gm/dl) of whole blood volume. Adult women have a normal range of 12 - 16 gm/dl. After Tracy's accident her hemoglobin was 13.5, which was good, and meant she did not have much internal bleeding. On Wednesday morning her hemoglobin was 9.2 gm/dl. Then by Thursday it was down to 8.7. If somebody went out and tried to ride at a high intensity with those hemoglobin levels, it would be a humbling experience. Throw in 10 days of bed rest and.....well....I think you can figure it out. She grew extremely tired after a few steps and her arms were shaking from using the walker.

We were really looking forward to getting out of the prison that had been our reality for what seemed like a year, and my shoulders were really taking a beating from the trampoline that was my bed for the last week. I say that, but realize that our stay is nothing compared to what others have had to deal with. We are taking about orthopedic reconstruction of Tracy's hip and pelvis so she can have a normal health life. Normal health life....What a luxury...What a blessing. I saw people waiting to see if there loved ones were going to live. What about brain tumors, or cancer, or organ transplants. I can't even imagine having to sit and watch the closest people in your life struggle through that not even knowing if they are going to be alive. Forget about normal......how about alive.

We take it all for granted so easily. In a flash our reality changed. One second and everything changes. It forces you to view things in a different light, to see outside your tiny little world. Things that were once so huge, so important ......just aren't. I know as we get back into the swing.....my mind is already thinking about all the things I need to deal with at work, the hundreds of e-mails I need to wade through, this perspective will fade, but I hope it doesn't.

Tracy's was discharged on Thursday at 1:00 pm. It was interesting getting her in the car, good thing I am an engineer. I knew it would pay off one day. She squinted from the bright sunlight and the warm air felt foreign on her skin. We headed home with crutches, walker, and wheelchair in tow, and she asked me to cut the hospital bracelets off of her wrist to remove all physical memories from her body, and for the boys.

Now What?

Tray will have 8-12 weeks of non-wight bearing recovery. That means she cannot put any weight on the her hip, no walking without the help of our new aluminum friends, and no driving until we can be sure the fractures are totally healed. Seems like this trip has just started. Like we are driving to New York and we just reached Madera. But just like anything......it will end. The world just keeps on spinning and chemistry does its work. Slowly building new bone, super gluing her back together. Building the glue that binds our family together. Life would be so boring without adversity, struggle, to battle for what seems important at the time. Just got to keep on rolling on.